Friday, 16 January 2015

Comedy Nights with Kapil Jokes - Kapil Sharma Jokes SMS

Posted by at 23:10 Read our previous post
Kapil Sharma Jokes Messages - Comedy Nights Kapil Funny SMS

Wife: What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?
Husband: No…
Wife: Why not? Don’t you like being married?
Husband: Of course I do.
Wife: Then why wouldn’t you remarry?
Husband: Ok, ok, I’d get married again…
Wife: Would you live in our house with your new Wife…?
Husband: Yes, it’s a great house.
Wife: Would you let her drive my car ?
Husband: Yes, its almost new, dear.
Wife: Would you give her my jewelry?
Husband: No.. I am sure she would want her own..
Wife: Would she wear my shoes..?
Husband: No, her size is ‘6’

Two Woman friends chatting in office..

Woman 1: I had a fine evening, how was yours?

Woman 2: It was a disaster. My husband came home, ate his dinner in 3 mins and fell asleep in 2 minutes..
How was yours?
Woman 1: Oh it was amazing!!
My husband came home and took me out for a romantic dinner..
After dinner we walked for an hour..
When we came home he lit the candles around the house..
It was like a fairy tale!!

At the same time, their husbands are talking at work

husband 2: How was your evening?
Husband 1: Great!! I came home, dinner was on the table, I ate and fell asleep.
What about you?
Husband 2: It was horrible..
I came home, there’s no dinner, they cut the electricity because I forgot to pay the bill; so I took
her out for dinner which was so expensive that didn’t have money left for a cab.
We walked home which took an hour and when we got home remember there was no electricity..
so I had to light candles all over the house!!
Moral: Presentation does matter, No matter what the reality is!!

I found Aladin’s lamp today
Husband: I found Aladin’s lamp today.

Wife: WOW, What did you ask for darling?

Husband: I asked him to increase your brain ten times..

Wife: Oh… Darling.. Love you so much..

Did he do that?
Husband: He laughed and said multiplication doesn’t apply on zero…!!!

Wife: “How would you describe me?”
Wife: “What does that mean?”
Husband: “Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot.”
Wife: “Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?”
Husband: “I’m just kidding!

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